I'll Be Okay
by onzeh11
Summary: 10 years of regret blew him away. And now, the news of her marriage was totally the cherry on top of his cake. Then came the phonecall. Surely, one phonecall couldn't change the present, unless.... George x Yukari George's p.o.v. oneshot


**Disclaimer: **I do not own Paradise kiss and any character in it.

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It's time to let you go_

_It's time to say goodbye_

"Would you like to go with me?" I asked. I don't want to hear either answer for I fear for our future. If she says yes, it would mean more tears for her to shed for a worthless bastard like me. If she says no, my heart will shatter into a million pieces but I favor this answer more. It will show her strength to resist me. Show her intelligence. If she were with me anyway, she would be overlooked. I will be too busy to take care of her and be the reason for more tears.

_There's no more excuses_

_No more tears to cry_

"No" she answered with a sigh, "I'm just starting my career as a model". So her career is more important than me?

_There's been so many changes_

_I was so confused_

"Good choice" I smiled at her. I'm proud of her. Happy that she actually made a decision on her own, but it's hard to accept it. It hurts... my heart... it's breaking into tiny pieces. The pain... make it go away... please!

_All along you were the one_

_All the time I never knew_

Months later, we all graduated; its time for my departure. I will go to Paris and open a haute couture. I will make dresses just as I'd always have. Designing clothes is my drug. An escape from the harsh reality of rejection and judgment.

_I want you to be happy_

_You're my best friend_

"I will have a commercial shoot tomorrow!" Yukari announced happily, blushing. Tomorrow-- my date of departure. Predictable as always. We all celebrated for our hard work. It paid off.

_But it's so hard to let you go now_

_All that could have been_

I drove her home that night. This was the last day that I will see her as my Yukari. After this night, she will be free again. Free from everything; my choking grasp my mood swings and most especially my... "I'm sorry I can't see you off tomorrow" she said sadly. "You took the job on purpose, didn't you?" it came out as a statement rather than a question. She got off the car smiling. I wonder what's she thinking of. I wonder if behind her smile there's a frown. A frown for me. "Goodbye George" she said. "Goodbye" I sped off not wanting to stay any longer.

_I'll always have the memories_

_She'll always have you_

Tears were welling up in my teal eyes as I drove away. It hurts so much. I want to go back but I can't. I will stop hurting her. She's the first and the last woman I'll ever love, my mom not included. But before I was able to get fully away, I realized something. I should probably give her something, as a parting gift...as a sign of my gratitude. For all the times she put up with my crappy stuck-up attitude. And I know just the perfect gift. A gift as important, as special as her. Something she deserves like no one else. I decide to give it to her tomorrow and drive away.

_Fate has a way of changing_

_Just when you don't want it to_

So, she really didn't come. I thought I would be able to see her one more time before I go but I guess not. Oh well, that's life. I'll just have to mail my gift to Yukari, as my final farewell. Life will be just grand in Paris huh?

_Throw away the chains. Let love fly away_

_Till love comes again... I'll be okay_

Goodbye, my dearest Yukari. I hope and pray for your bliss... without me.

_Life passes so quickly_

_You've got to take the time_

Ten long years passed by so quickly. I've been missing her since then. My muse who has long black hair, chocolate round eyes, and a svelte body perfect for a model.

_Or you'll miss what really matters_

_You'll miss all the signs_

I still remember the day I met her. She was puerile and undecided. She was bossed around by her mother. Forcing her to do things that what her mother thought was the best. But after hanging out with the gang, she changed a little bit. Even more so when she became my girlfriend.

_I've spent my life searching_

_For what was always there_

She was influenced by my words, which I think is the reason for her better change. She was a weak person inside. She always cried. I was one of the reasons... no, I was the reason why she cried. I don't know why I made her cry all of those times we were together. I liked her... no, I loved her but why?

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Ten years has passed when we parted and I left for Paris together with Isabella as my pattern designer. I live an apartment, no, not a small apartment, it was a lot like the one back in Japan only a lot bigger. I have the whole space to my lonesome self. What I would give to have her here... but I don't so I'll deal with it just like all those other years.

I miss her so much. Paris isn't as fun as it looks like in the movies at least not when you're alone. "George" a voice snapped me back from my trance, "Are you ok? You're zoning out on me again". "I'm sorry Isabella, i just have a lot of things in my mind" I sighed. "You miss her, don't you?" Isabella asked seeing that I was out of myself again. "Who are you talking about Isabella?" a knot forming in my stomach. "You know well who I am talking about George" Isabella growled. She's probably fed up with all my lies but who can she blame right? "I'm thinking about our haute couture, Isabella and I really don't know who you are talking about" I said resting my head back on my seat. "George Koizumi! You know better than to lie to me!" Isabella hissed. "I'm not. Why would I even lie to you?" I asked calmly. "You have every reason to lie to me George but now, I'm going to let it pass" she said softly. How I hate it when people see right through me.

_Sometimes it will be too late_

_Sometimes it won't be fair_

"She's engaged" Isabella said abruptly. Can't say that she was the patient type anyway. My heart, it's aching... "Who is?" I asked innocently. She sighed, "Carrie... Yukari". I just smirked at her smugly. What does she expect me to say? That I'm surprised? Well I am a little but who cares right? "Really?" I asked wearily, "Who's the guy?" "Hiro-kun" she replied gloomily. "So dreams do come true huh?" I smirked at her. But not mine... nope... not me. "Arashi and Miwako says hi" she changed the subject knowing that it would lead to awkwardness, "They say that you don't call or write them anymore". "Give me the number, I'll call those love birds" I flipped my phone open.

_Throw away the chains. Let love fly away_

Till love comes again... I'll be okay

"Hello?" a hoarse voice answered. "Arashi, it's me--" "George! How'd you been buddy!? Haven't heard from you a long time!" he kept ranting. Miwako's cheery voice can be heard at the background. "I'm ok. What about you guys?" a smile tugged my lips. "We're doing great here. Been working at Happy Berry, you know. I'll hand the phone over to Miwako" he said happily. "Johji!" Miwako said her voice with mixed emotions. If I didn't know any better, she's crying. "Miwako, how are you?" I asked. "Caroline is engaged" she whispered. "You don't have to tell him that Miwako!" Arashi scolded at the back. "I know, Isabella told me" I said. "How's the business?" she asked. "Good, I'm the designer of the costume for a play in America" I said smiling. It's good to hear their voices. "That's great! You're famous now, aren't you?" she said perkily. "Not really" I said. "Oi! Naked prince, when are you visiting!?" it was Arashi I'm talking to now. "When I have time, I will" I said lamely. "You always have time! Come back now, we miss you!" he said loudly, "And tell Isabella that she's a jerk for leaving us without any warning!" "Will do" I replied.

_I won't give up_

_I won't give in_

"Caroline! Hiro-kun!" Miwako practically screamed. Yukari is there? My chest... it's pounding. I can hear it in my ears. It's so loud. Sweat is forming on my forehead. "Hi Miwako, Arashi!" I heard her voice. It hasn't changed. "Hey, I got to go now" I said and without another word, I hung up. I can't... I'm afraid that if I talk to her, I'll go crazy.

_I can't recreate what just might have been_

_I know that my heart will find love again now is the time to begin_

"Isabella" I started but not sure where it will end, "I'm going home, can you just--" "Yeah, go home George" she smiled warmly at me. "Thanks" I grabbed my coat and went out of the room. I walked out of the building that has been my prison for ten long years. There's no hope for me anymore. If I didn't let go of her then she'd probably be here with me now. She'd probably be engaged to me. Darn! RING Oh great, my cellphone's out to annoy me. Without seeing who was calling, I answered it, "Hello?" There was no answer. A prank caller... honestly, how did these people get my number? "If you don't have anything better to do, why don't you just shoot yourself and stay dead!" I said harshly. "Really? But I do have better things to do, so sorry to disturb you." the other line hung up. No... that was Yukari! Really, can this day get any worse!?

_Throw away the chains. Let love fly away_

_Till love comes again... I'll be okay_

What should I do? Should I call her back? She's obviously pissed but I didn't know! It was unexpected. The hell with it! I sped off to my apartment. "Hello" I said smoothly. "What, I thought you said to shoot myself and stay dead!?" she said angrily. "I'm sorry" I whispered. "What?" she asked softly now. "I didn't stutter" I said turning a sharp left. "What are you sorry for?" she asked, breathing heavily. "Wait for me ok" I said, "I'll be coming back there, just wait". "I've waited for so long" she said just above a whisper, "I can't anymore". "I know but I'm just telling you to wait just a little longer" I said pleadingly. "George, I miss you" she said then hung up. Tears once again found their way back into my eyes. This time, I'll make everything right. I was too caught up in my thoughts that I wasn't able to see the other car coming at me.

_I'll be okay_

_I'll be okay_

CRASH Flashes of her smiling face appeared in my mind as the car collided with mine. All of those times when we sat together just laughing. But I guess this really is good-bye now. I shouldn't have done all those things to her. I never should have left her...never should have made her cry...I had asked her to wait for me to come back but I guess there's no more coming back now. If I'm given another chance, I'll take back all those hurtful words. All those tears you shed. I will but I can't. I'm really sorry. I made her wait for nothing again. Why do I have to bastardize everything? "Yukari..."

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_I'll be okay_

_I can't hold on forever, baby _

What the hell? A white light? Sigh It's not like anyone is waiting for me in the living world who loves me. I'll just go... go back to where I came from. No, not in the womb of my mother but back to the creator. "George..." Someone's calling me? I know that voice from somewhere. "Please wake up..." She's crying. Why is she crying? I'm headed to a more beautiful place. Somewhere without pain. My nirvana. "You told me to wait and I am waiting...I'll keep on waiting." She's waiting for me? Who is she? "So please, wake up" A butterfly? Hey, what do you know, butterflies exist in this world. That's nice. "For me, please. Open your eyes George" the voice is coming from the butterfly? Hmm I remember doing a butterfly ring for a contest. I made two actually. One for the contest and one for my muse... Yukari! Yukari is calling me! She's here! She's waiting for me to open my eyes. She came for me. To see me wake up from this state. I'll make things right. I have the chance and I'll grab it. It's now or never.

_I can't hold on forever, baby_

_I'll be okay_

"Models are suppose to be strong" my voice weak and cracked. She looked at me with her wide, teary eyes. She brought her hand to her lips, the butterfly ring I made... she's still wearing it. "I know I'm gorgeous but please, try to breathe" I joked, my breathe is short. She opened her mouth to speak but closed it again. She didn't have to say anything. I heard her calling me and that's enough. "George" she started, her voice was cracked. "Yukari" I smiled at her warmly, "I'm sorry I kept you waiting". She held my hand, stroking it gently. More tears spill out of her eyes. "Don't. Rest for now. I'll tell the others that you are awake" she smiled weakly. "Tell them later" I said quietly, "Stay with me for a while. I missed you so much". She nodded and wiped her tears, smiling. "I missed you too" she said, "Eleven years surely is long". Eleven? I've been in a coma for a year? There's no doubt that she's married to Hiro now. "So, how are things with Hiro?" I asked casually, "Do you have any kids?" "George..." she started but I need not to listen. "I'm sure they are beautiful and adorable. You two make a great couple" I interrupted. "George" she said firmly, "We didn't get married". Well that was unexpected. "You told me to wait didn't you? So I did" she added. "Oh" was all I can muster to say. "You know I can never say no to you. I made one fatal mistake and I plan on making that up" she said sighing, "Well, say something". "Don't be sorry. I made that mistake. I'm the one who should be sorry" I said averting my gaze to the ivory ceiling, "I was such an ass". "Never mind that" she said caressing my face. How I just love her gentle touch on my skin. "Will you give me one more chance?" I asked hopeful. "I just told you didn't I?" "Huh?" I asked confused. "You seriously need to learn how to listen, George" she giggled, "Of course I'll give you another chance!" My smile broadened.

_I'll be okay_

_I'll be okay_

"Dada" this child conceived by my lovely wife cooed. He held my finger tightly as I carried him. "Did you hear that?" I asked my wife beaming. "Yes, I did" her eyes glistened with joy. "Yukari" I whispered, "I love you". "I love you too, George" she said with tears in her eyes. This time it's tears of newly found hope, satisfaction, pleasure and love. Yes, they were tears of joy. After all of the bad stuff that's happened in my life, I'm finally given the chance to heal. With my wife and child, I'll be okay.


End file.
